Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
