The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
