i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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