Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
