So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
