You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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