MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
