I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
