IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
