you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize