I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
