I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
