But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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