just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize