Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
...so i touched it.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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