sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
