Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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