you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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