Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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