Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
