so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
