I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
