Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
