But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
