im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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