I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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