Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
