While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
