also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Houston, we have a squirter
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
