So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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