I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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