Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
