I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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