NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
