Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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