Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
