I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
