"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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