I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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