girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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