4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
