turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize