I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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