Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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