absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
