i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
