i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Houston, we have a squirter
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
