i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
you traded sex for a burrito?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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