And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
