I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
