So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize