marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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