i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
