I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize