Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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