Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
