Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize