just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
